My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
