Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
