Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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