community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
