dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
