U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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