Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize