allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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