I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
