I wish I could teleport
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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