I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
