Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
sex in a hospital.. check
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
