HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
