I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize