Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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