Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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