I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
