Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
