i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
