I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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