the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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