I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
