you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
