Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
