Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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