Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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