I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize