no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
