You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
