Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
