By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
