Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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