i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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