i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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