guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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