I bet he comes in French.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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