I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
