They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
