so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We are all done wearing pants today
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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