And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
