i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize