Kiss
Puke
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Randomize