YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
