Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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