ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
