Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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