Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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