come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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