Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
