He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
