just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
