That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
