We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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