i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
