My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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