just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
