I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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