This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
