JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
