Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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